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They think you're crazy, they think you're mad
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you're not worth it

With a sigh [Name] closed her locker, closing her eyes tightly. It was the fourth week of school, yet she found herself praying for things to change already.

“Suck it up, you can do it.” She muttered trying to force some confidence into her soul.
“Who are you talking to?” She flinched hearing that mocking voice.

“Are you, like, crazy or something?” She turned to see a small group of predators staring her down with lip-glossed smirks and accusing glares. Her tormentors.

“She’s disgusting to look at; I think I am going to throw up.” A girl said, pretend to gag. [Name] turned on her heels, ducking her head and walking away as fast as she could. As she stumbled into her language class she dared to look up only to make eye contact with the owner of a pair of bright green eyes, she flinched but he only smiled warmly at her, unlike what his friends would do. Oh, that’s right. He was one of the nicer ones.
She took a deep breath and made her way to the back of the class, staring down at the wood that made up her desk before her upon sitting down.

“Just look at her, the way she’s acting.”

“She’s so strange.”

“Shh, you wouldn’t want her to throw a tantrum.” After that was whispered there were a handful of giggles. She could feel the tears pricking up at the corners of her eyes,

‘Don’t cry. Don’t cry. DON’T CRY’ she shook her head, laying it down on her desk. Bracing herself to endure this hell.

“Hey, [Name]? Are you alright?” [Name] looked up to see her teacher looking down at her questioningly, studying her student with her head tilted to the side so that her blond hair fell over her right eye.

“Y-yes ma’am, I’m alright.” [Name] stuttered, looking up at her teacher with a nervous gaze.

“Are you sure?” She asked, “I know that look, these hazel eyes of mine held the same as those (e/c) ones do.” She said, squatting down next to [Name]’s desk.

“I am sure, I’m fine.” [Name] said quietly, looking away. She heard her teacher sigh as she stood up again,

“Alright, but if you ever need to talk, you know where I am.” She nodded, and laid her head down her table. Not moments later she felt something hit her head. A note.

“Aw… Does the fag need her girlfriend to help her?” The note read, [Name] crumbled it up and buried her head, only to feel another note hit her, then another, then another.

“You’re such a freak!”




The insults went on and on. She pulled the hood of her (f/c) jacket over her head and tried to make herself as small as possible. She stayed that way till she heard the bell, then bolted out of the class room, hurrying down the hallways. Only to be pushed to the ground, her books scattering everywhere, her jacket sleeve slipping up slightly, only inches away from exposing her wrist, and the scars on it.

“Why don’t you just do the world a favor and kill yourself. You aren’t worth existing anyway.” Laughter. Screeching, cruel laughter followed that comment, and she felt the tears begin. Struggling to her feet she began to stumbled away, covering her ears so she wouldn’t here the comments. But she missed those bright green eyes glaring at her tormentors, moving to face them. The eyes belong to no other then to Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.

Now you're walking back to the place you call home but you feel so alone
The same hurtful hits, it's your darkest place
In your virgin ears the remarks they make

On the bus ride home the tormenting continued, not that this was anything new. With a sigh she stood, walking down the aisle of the bus- her own walk of shame- only to get off at the first stop. She did this every day, in order to prevent wanting to kill herself upon arriving home. And from how she was feeling now, it wouldn’t take much.
Now as she made her way down the cracked old sidewalk she felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes. But before she could begin to cry she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder.

“¡Hola [Name]! ¿Cómo estás?” [Name] looked up to see bright green eyes staring at her at a very close proximity, make her stumble back a bit. She racked her brain trying to remember what little Spanish she knew.

“I’m fine.” She replied quietly, looking down at her hands, missing the concern that appeared in that emerald gaze.

“Are you sure?” He questioned, tilting his head slightly.

“Y-yeah.” She looked up, “You’re Antonio right?”

“Sí!” he quipped, smiling cheerfully.

“Alright. But what are you doing here?”

“Hm? Oh! Me? I walk home; it helps me clear my head.” Antonio laughed “I just noticed you walking today and decided to talk to you. Do you leave near here?”

“U-um. No. I actually I live a couple blocks away.” [Name] responded, looking down at her hands.

“Alright then, I’ll walk with you.” She blinked in surprise, unsure if she heard this boy right.

“Excuse me?” She looked up at him in shock.

“I said, I’ll walk home with you. It’s not safe for a girl to wander around alone, so I’ll go with you to make sure you stay safe.” He said, smiling warmly. But instead of seeing that smile, [Name] only saw the laughing faces of those who mock her, their insults echoing in her ears.

“No. Don’t.” She muttered, turning on her heel to walk away swiftly. Only to see out of the corner of her eye Antonio walking alongside her pleasantly, taking in the nature around the sidewalk.

Finally, they arrived at her home.

“Is the place?” He asked studying the home.

“Yeah.” [Name] adjusted her bag, beginning to walk up the stairs to her home. “Hey, Antonio?”


“T-thank you for walking me home.”

“No problem! Oh, and chica!” [Name] looked up to meet those bright green eyes, “Call me Toni.” With a fake smile she nodded, looking away.


“See you tomorrow, okay! By, [Name]!” And with that the cheerful Spaniard ran off. [Name] smiled weakly running a hand over her wrist out of habit. By doing that her fingers brushed against those scars. But this time, when she walked into her house, said hello to her parents, and made her way into her room, she didn’t feel that sad. So she didn’t add anymore to her collection of scars.

If they, if they really knew all of those things
That you do in your room to hide the pain
I bet their minds would change, yeah
I'll bet their minds would change

Soon things did change, every day Antonio and [Name] walked together. During language he would sit with her, and at lunch he brought her over to eat with him and his friends. It went from them knowing each other for days, then months, then suddenly they had been friends for six months.

It was a change, one that [Name] didn’t mind. But even though that change happen, the bullying didn’t cease. If anything it only got worse.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going, you whore?” [Name] flinched, feeling someone pull her hair. “I thought you were gay so why are you sluting it up with Antonio?”

“I am not gay.” She muttered under her breath. Instantly she was slammed against a locker
“What was that, whore? I can’t hear you over your ugly face!” She braced herself, waiting for more insults to come. But instead she only heard footsteps, approaching, and she felt the girl release her hair and run off- leaving [Name] standing there dumbfounded.

“Ms. [Last Name]? Why aren’t you in class?” Oh, great, it was the principle


“Ah! I don’t want to hear your excuses. You have a detention for skipping class, now get moving before I call your parents.” He snapped before she could finish. Great! This was just freaking great!

With a gulp [Name] nodded and hurried away, only to duck in the bathroom, slipping in one of the stalls in order to cry. She had had enough. She was through.

Almost by habit, she pulled out her nail file, rolling up her sleeve and doing the only thing that made her feel better- she began to cut. Don’t ask why, cause even she couldn’t tell you. But somehow cutting helped numb the pain she was feeling. Even if it was hard to hide the red that came from her wrist.

Finally she finished, looking down at the fresh new wounds. With a sigh she slipped out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with Toni who was waiting for her.

“Chica! Are you alright? I didn’t see you in class.”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.” She said, looking down at her feet.

"Oh, alright. Then let's go. We don't want to miss our next class" He said warmly, taking a hold of her wrist and pulling her after him. She winced in pain, then looked away, trying to pretend that she didn’t. Little did she know that the usually oblivious Spaniard heard it and slowly was figuring out her secret.

(Time skip brought to you by tomatoes~!)

As usual [Name] made her way home, Antonio walking along side her. There was a silence between the two, almost to a point it was growing awkward.

“So, why do you do it?” he asked finally, looking at [Name] out of the corner of his eye.


“Why do you cut yourself?” [Name] flinched hearing that, and turned to look at Antonio

“I have no idea what you’re ta-”

“Don’t lie to me, chica.” Before [Name] could say anything he was holding her wrist, pulling her sleeve up to reveal the marks from both old and new cuts. “This is all the proof I need.”

“It’s none of your business.” [Name] muttered, looking away from him. “You’re just like everyone else anyway. You’ll turn on me eventually. They always do.” Suddenly he took her chin in his free hand, forcing her to look at him.

“No. That’s not true, chica.” He whispered, running his thumb over her scars. “I am not like them. I don’t like seeing you hurt. I’m sure they wouldn’t do what they do if they saw these scars.” He looked at her wrist, “Such a horrible thing to do. Monsters.” He whispered, so quietly she was almost unsure if she actually heard it.

“I don’t believe you.” She said, tears threatening to spill, “You’re just like everyone one else! You hate me too!!” Suddenly she felt something pressed against her forehead. Antonio was…. He was kissing her? Why?


“Te amo.”  Suddenly she felt her tears spill from her eyes, and she let out a sob, burying her face in his chest.

“It hurts!” she wrapped, feeling him wrap his arms around her. “It hurts so bad! I can’t stand it! I just want to fit in! I don’t understand!” they stood there for a while, him allowing her to cry all the tears she had been holding back.

“I know. I know.” He whispered reassuringly, “I believe a lot of people who think of you differently if they knew the pain you were feeling.”  

“How do you know?” She whimpered, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. Instead of responding he brought her wrist up to his lips and kissed it. Then moved to kiss her forehead, then finally kissed her lips.

“I just know.” He responded, and for the first time in a for what seems like forever [Name] smiled genuinely.

They'd change if they knew the pain
  I believe in those scars,

.....'cause I believe
Wooot! First Spain x Reader!!

This is actually a fail. :iconorzplz: But hey, I put it up here anyway!!

And to you Reader-san, I am sorry for putting you through all that, but hey! As a kid I was bullied like that and was a cutter too!! But instead of Spain being all nice, I had to make my own way. But I'm cool you know, because I am awesome after all! :iconprussiawinplz:

Anyway, I hopes you like! Please, please, PLEASE COMMENT BEFORE YOU FAVORITE!!!

Story- Me
Spain, Hetalia- Not me
You- :iconsexyspain2plz:

Oh and also! This is the song this is based off of! I recomend listening to this if you want to add to the feels, if that's your thing I mean.

If you Knew by Joel Faviere-



; v ; Dis is really popular

You guys make me so happy

Thank you
Add a Comment:
Kawwiipand Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2015  New Deviant
Omg T-T tears every where .
Love the story though
Victoria-Walker925 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015  Student Writer
the feels man, the feels
Kitty55Magical Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
crycrycrycrycry and more cry
SoulEater19088 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ya kno i kno thos is a fanfiction and everything and its nice and i think its sweet but if a bully even tries to fuck with me then im gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat your gonna be biting your mother fucking pancreas
Lauradrakkyn Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yas. T^T So wuvly.
FNAFanimeHobbit Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
 So... What's this 'country-people' fandom thing? I have no idea. It's still nice, though.
NeoniZigzagoon Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2015  Student Digital Artist
I shall introduce you to Hetalia, my friend.……
technolightGoddess Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015 feels......they feel so........feely....... *sniff*
Kitty55Magical Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
NOTICE ME SEMPAI (Rose Quartz Icon) that's just feels ma friend
gilbird-beilshmidt Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Student General Artist
xPandaOtakux Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2015
One of the best STORIES ever..
crazzygiraffe04 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*crying* this *sob* is so *siffle* sweet!!!! 
Taiyou-Child Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful omg im crying
Amberpelt1215 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
This really makes me think of this school year it was pretty much the worst year ever at the beginning I was really depressed and cute wanted to only do it once but then one day in science seats got rearranged and I had this kid named Logan sitting in front of me and at the beginning of the year I thought he was obnoxious and stupid but then we started talking in science and then he got his schedule changed and he was suddenly in nearly all of my classes and we talked in all of our classes and I completely forgot about the whole cutting thing and was back to a bubbly ball of energy and then in December my grandpa started to get really sick and my world went downhill I was back to depressed but I didn't cut because I had the beacon of hope that was my friends and Logan then my grandpa died and I didn't go to school for a whole week because I was crying everyday and just couldn't do it but when I went back to school I realised that was what I needed I had all of my friends and Logan back and I was having a hard time smiling and laughing but when I went to my classes with Logan I could laugh and smile actual smiles and I owe him everything he is the nicest guy I know he has really helped me and of course my friends helped in fact one day me and my three closest friends and a guy friend were ice skating and I sat down and started crying and my three closest friends stopped ice skating and came over to me and comforted me while I just sat there crying my eyes out the. We went out on the ice and my night got better I can't even begin to express how thankful I am to them and Logan 
ruinedchildh00d Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2015
I'm glad to hear that you have great friends that are there for you. Keep your chin up darling :')
Arisa012345 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Student Writer
wow that was amazing
anime-wiz17 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015
I was actually listening to the song and you did amazing
Voxyn180 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2015
So Crying Mako rainbow cry Cry forever Miuna Crying Icon beautiful 
xPandaOtakux Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015
Omg so beautiful. 

WyvernHuntress Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015
Awww! I really liked this!!!
Mistpaw89 Featured By Owner May 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Rj223 Featured By Owner May 9, 2015
"You're such a slut!"
"But I still wouldn't fuck you, asshole."
daga000 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Jeez, by now I would've beaten those bitches up (excuse my french), even though I'm not a violent person.
ZombieDswim Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2015
Me too.
daga000 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
See in the classroom, when reader-chan had letters thrown at her? If that would he me, I would've scream


And then walk out of the classroom, while holding my middle fingers up high in the air.
FlameWolfGirl17 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Gahhh the feels ;^; I was bullied like this too as a kid, and I was abused by my parents. This is such a sweet story! >w <
Paigeemma Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015
Such a beautiful story I'm in tears your a fantastic writer Hun amazing!!! Xx
AbbeWinter Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  Student General Artist
This was more beautiful than any of the classics I've had to read in English. Just... amazing.
wallistsaredumb Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Student General Artist
OMG this story was so empowering!

I get bullied a lot, then get mad and haul someone off, cry in the bathroom, those sort of things.
CheetahSkittle Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
i fucking love joel ;-; Have you heard The War Against Ourselves?
animefluttershyluna Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
DownShiftPlus Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Honestly,.I would have punched my tormentors...but I got a cute boyfriend so I don't mind. ;)
narutoEATsasuke Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i really do believe antonio could make anyone happy
PrussiasKitten Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The fanfic... the song... the feels..... This fits my mood.... *goes to corner to pic mushrooms*
DB4Lyfe Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014
xxnillyxx Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
kitsune-the-innocent Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I wish i could have a friend like Antonio right now 
MaddieVanity Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Student Artist
NatureTune Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Heh... even my closest people use(d) to laugh when i tried to talking about my feelings &/or be selfconfident. I`m always afraid that people will always laugh at me, and try to proove that i`m wrong in everything.Doh!  (except one person who never laughed at me)

Screw those who takes us down. Bleh Stabbed with a Fork!

Nice writed!Clap 
asianturnip Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
awwww! it's so sadWaaaah! 
but you're an amazing writer^^
MyDepictionOfFiction Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I can relate. I wish that I couldn't. I need the put down the knife.
Real life: People I know that hate me
Internet: People I don't know that sometimes also hate me.
asianturnip Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm so sorry. I won't pity you cause I know I wouldn't want people to pity me, so instead, i'll sympathize with you. I know that feeling too, which is why I'm afraid to do pretty much anything^^but it's nice to know i'm not alone in this situation^^ 
MyDepictionOfFiction Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not alone either.
asianturnip Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
MyDepictionOfFiction Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
InkyStardust Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
So cute! And feels-y! :D
HiroamiTheVampire Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Student Artist
That's my song ;-;
HiroamiTheVampire Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Student Artist
Damn reminds me of well me.. MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL a reason this is my song

PrussiasKitten Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I learned to live with the comments.... go with the flow ya know
EpicCatBomb Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014   Digital Artist
Oh, I'm so sorry! *hug*
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
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