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They think you're crazy, they think you're mad
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you're not worth it

With a sigh [Name] closed her locker, closing her eyes tightly. It was the fourth week of school, yet she found herself praying for things to change already.

“Suck it up, you can do it.” She muttered trying to force some confidence into her soul.
“Who are you talking to?” She flinched hearing that mocking voice.

“Are you, like, crazy or something?” She turned to see a small group of predators staring her down with lip-glossed smirks and accusing glares. Her tormentors.

“She’s disgusting to look at; I think I am going to throw up.” A girl said, pretend to gag. [Name] turned on her heels, ducking her head and walking away as fast as she could. As she stumbled into her language class she dared to look up only to make eye contact with the owner of a pair of bright green eyes, she flinched but he only smiled warmly at her, unlike what his friends would do. Oh, that’s right. He was one of the nicer ones.
She took a deep breath and made her way to the back of the class, staring down at the wood that made up her desk before her upon sitting down.

“Just look at her, the way she’s acting.”

“She’s so strange.”

“Shh, you wouldn’t want her to throw a tantrum.” After that was whispered there were a handful of giggles. She could feel the tears pricking up at the corners of her eyes,

‘Don’t cry. Don’t cry. DON’T CRY’ she shook her head, laying it down on her desk. Bracing herself to endure this hell.

“Hey, [Name]? Are you alright?” [Name] looked up to see her teacher looking down at her questioningly, studying her student with her head tilted to the side so that her blond hair fell over her right eye.

“Y-yes ma’am, I’m alright.” [Name] stuttered, looking up at her teacher with a nervous gaze.

“Are you sure?” She asked, “I know that look, these hazel eyes of mine held the same as those (e/c) ones do.” She said, squatting down next to [Name]’s desk.

“I am sure, I’m fine.” [Name] said quietly, looking away. She heard her teacher sigh as she stood up again,

“Alright, but if you ever need to talk, you know where I am.” She nodded, and laid her head down her table. Not moments later she felt something hit her head. A note.

“Aw… Does the fag need her girlfriend to help her?” The note read, [Name] crumbled it up and buried her head, only to feel another note hit her, then another, then another.

“You’re such a freak!”




The insults went on and on. She pulled the hood of her (f/c) jacket over her head and tried to make herself as small as possible. She stayed that way till she heard the bell, then bolted out of the class room, hurrying down the hallways. Only to be pushed to the ground, her books scattering everywhere, her jacket sleeve slipping up slightly, only inches away from exposing her wrist, and the scars on it.

“Why don’t you just do the world a favor and kill yourself. You aren’t worth existing anyway.” Laughter. Screeching, cruel laughter followed that comment, and she felt the tears begin. Struggling to her feet she began to stumbled away, covering her ears so she wouldn’t here the comments. But she missed those bright green eyes glaring at her tormentors, moving to face them. The eyes belong to no other then to Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.

Now you're walking back to the place you call home but you feel so alone
The same hurtful hits, it's your darkest place
In your virgin ears the remarks they make

On the bus ride home the tormenting continued, not that this was anything new. With a sigh she stood, walking down the aisle of the bus- her own walk of shame- only to get off at the first stop. She did this every day, in order to prevent wanting to kill herself upon arriving home. And from how she was feeling now, it wouldn’t take much.
Now as she made her way down the cracked old sidewalk she felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes. But before she could begin to cry she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder.

“¡Hola [Name]! ¿Cómo estás?” [Name] looked up to see bright green eyes staring at her at a very close proximity, make her stumble back a bit. She racked her brain trying to remember what little Spanish she knew.

“I’m fine.” She replied quietly, looking down at her hands, missing the concern that appeared in that emerald gaze.

“Are you sure?” He questioned, tilting his head slightly.

“Y-yeah.” She looked up, “You’re Antonio right?”

“Sí!” he quipped, smiling cheerfully.

“Alright. But what are you doing here?”

“Hm? Oh! Me? I walk home; it helps me clear my head.” Antonio laughed “I just noticed you walking today and decided to talk to you. Do you leave near here?”

“U-um. No. I actually I live a couple blocks away.” [Name] responded, looking down at her hands.

“Alright then, I’ll walk with you.” She blinked in surprise, unsure if she heard this boy right.

“Excuse me?” She looked up at him in shock.

“I said, I’ll walk home with you. It’s not safe for a girl to wander around alone, so I’ll go with you to make sure you stay safe.” He said, smiling warmly. But instead of seeing that smile, [Name] only saw the laughing faces of those who mock her, their insults echoing in her ears.

“No. Don’t.” She muttered, turning on her heel to walk away swiftly. Only to see out of the corner of her eye Antonio walking alongside her pleasantly, taking in the nature around the sidewalk.

Finally, they arrived at her home.

“Is the place?” He asked studying the home.

“Yeah.” [Name] adjusted her bag, beginning to walk up the stairs to her home. “Hey, Antonio?”


“T-thank you for walking me home.”

“No problem! Oh, and chica!” [Name] looked up to meet those bright green eyes, “Call me Toni.” With a fake smile she nodded, looking away.


“See you tomorrow, okay! By, [Name]!” And with that the cheerful Spaniard ran off. [Name] smiled weakly running a hand over her wrist out of habit. By doing that her fingers brushed against those scars. But this time, when she walked into her house, said hello to her parents, and made her way into her room, she didn’t feel that sad. So she didn’t add anymore to her collection of scars.

If they, if they really knew all of those things
That you do in your room to hide the pain
I bet their minds would change, yeah
I'll bet their minds would change

Soon things did change, every day Antonio and [Name] walked together. During language he would sit with her, and at lunch he brought her over to eat with him and his friends. It went from them knowing each other for days, then months, then suddenly they had been friends for six months.

It was a change, one that [Name] didn’t mind. But even though that change happen, the bullying didn’t cease. If anything it only got worse.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going, you whore?” [Name] flinched, feeling someone pull her hair. “I thought you were gay so why are you sluting it up with Antonio?”

“I am not gay.” She muttered under her breath. Instantly she was slammed against a locker
“What was that, whore? I can’t hear you over your ugly face!” She braced herself, waiting for more insults to come. But instead she only heard footsteps, approaching, and she felt the girl release her hair and run off- leaving [Name] standing there dumbfounded.

“Ms. [Last Name]? Why aren’t you in class?” Oh, great, it was the principle


“Ah! I don’t want to hear your excuses. You have a detention for skipping class, now get moving before I call your parents.” He snapped before she could finish. Great! This was just freaking great!

With a gulp [Name] nodded and hurried away, only to duck in the bathroom, slipping in one of the stalls in order to cry. She had had enough. She was through.

Almost by habit, she pulled out her nail file, rolling up her sleeve and doing the only thing that made her feel better- she began to cut. Don’t ask why, cause even she couldn’t tell you. But somehow cutting helped numb the pain she was feeling. Even if it was hard to hide the red that came from her wrist.

Finally she finished, looking down at the fresh new wounds. With a sigh she slipped out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with Toni who was waiting for her.

“Chica! Are you alright? I didn’t see you in class.”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.” She said, looking down at her feet.

"Oh, alright. Then let's go. We don't want to miss our next class" He said warmly, taking a hold of her wrist and pulling her after him. She winced in pain, then looked away, trying to pretend that she didn’t. Little did she know that the usually oblivious Spaniard heard it and slowly was figuring out her secret.

(Time skip brought to you by tomatoes~!)

As usual [Name] made her way home, Antonio walking along side her. There was a silence between the two, almost to a point it was growing awkward.

“So, why do you do it?” he asked finally, looking at [Name] out of the corner of his eye.


“Why do you cut yourself?” [Name] flinched hearing that, and turned to look at Antonio

“I have no idea what you’re ta-”

“Don’t lie to me, chica.” Before [Name] could say anything he was holding her wrist, pulling her sleeve up to reveal the marks from both old and new cuts. “This is all the proof I need.”

“It’s none of your business.” [Name] muttered, looking away from him. “You’re just like everyone else anyway. You’ll turn on me eventually. They always do.” Suddenly he took her chin in his free hand, forcing her to look at him.

“No. That’s not true, chica.” He whispered, running his thumb over her scars. “I am not like them. I don’t like seeing you hurt. I’m sure they wouldn’t do what they do if they saw these scars.” He looked at her wrist, “Such a horrible thing to do. Monsters.” He whispered, so quietly she was almost unsure if she actually heard it.

“I don’t believe you.” She said, tears threatening to spill, “You’re just like everyone one else! You hate me too!!” Suddenly she felt something pressed against her forehead. Antonio was…. He was kissing her? Why?


“Te amo.”  Suddenly she felt her tears spill from her eyes, and she let out a sob, burying her face in his chest.

“It hurts!” she wrapped, feeling him wrap his arms around her. “It hurts so bad! I can’t stand it! I just want to fit in! I don’t understand!” they stood there for a while, him allowing her to cry all the tears she had been holding back.

“I know. I know.” He whispered reassuringly, “I believe a lot of people who think of you differently if they knew the pain you were feeling.”  

“How do you know?” She whimpered, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. Instead of responding he brought her wrist up to his lips and kissed it. Then moved to kiss her forehead, then finally kissed her lips.

“I just know.” He responded, and for the first time in a for what seems like forever [Name] smiled genuinely.

They'd change if they knew the pain
  I believe in those scars,

.....'cause I believe
Wooot! First Spain x Reader!!

This is actually a fail. :iconorzplz: But hey, I put it up here anyway!!

And to you Reader-san, I am sorry for putting you through all that, but hey! As a kid I was bullied like that and was a cutter too!! But instead of Spain being all nice, I had to make my own way. But I'm cool you know, because I am awesome after all! :iconprussiawinplz:

Anyway, I hopes you like! Please, please, PLEASE COMMENT BEFORE YOU FAVORITE!!!

Story- Me
Spain, Hetalia- Not me
You- :iconsexyspain2plz:

Oh and also! This is the song this is based off of! I recomend listening to this if you want to add to the feels, if that's your thing I mean.

If you Knew by Joel Faviere-



; v ; Dis is really popular

You guys make me so happy

Thank you
Add a Comment:
AvilynnGlitch Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2017

(*softly starts to sing*)
They think you're crazy...
They think you're mad...
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you're not worth it....
Now you're walking back... to the place you call home... but you feel so alone...
(New lyrics here)
(*sings more openly*)
Now don't worry, dear...
It'll all be okay.
Don't hurt yourself now...
They jeer for no reason,
They want to be rude...
They don't know what it's like
To be the the one down...
So don't be sad, girl
It'll all be okay
So feel better girl
Continue your life
LuckDraws Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
*throws chair*
PanBitch Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2017
I've never been bullied, but every time I confess to my crush, I get rejected. It's like Natasha kicking and punching your heart over and over
Hetalian454 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I can relate .... it hurts like hell ...
SilverKitsune100 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2017
I have been bullied before, but I never cut myself or think suicidal thoughts.
DeathTheUchiha Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2017  Student General Artist
I almost cried, because I relate. I am bullied, I cut myself, and I've tried suicide. This was beautiful though. I loved it. 
CocoArtiste Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
So many feels
I was on the verge of tears...
I can sort of relate. I have been bullied endlessly since I started school as a 4 year old
8ZaneRoMeave8 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
He knows bc it happened to him.
Firestar60921 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I cried. Thats how I feel when reading stuff like this. Thank You. I needed the feels!
Elaina-Cartman Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2016
The feels ;-; I love it
Reminds me of when I get bullied , it's not as bad anymore Tho
IvyChuChi Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel like shiz
LightningwingSkye Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm crying.
That was absolutely gorgeous. 
You're such a talented writer, manipulating words in order to set feelings upon the reader. Thank you <3
RainbowSansy Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
MeridaHofferson Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The feels!!!
rosabunie Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2016
I love this so much. Even though the feels are so present through out this story, it is still awesome!

And I'm sorry that happened to you. But I'm glad that things got better.

Kirito x Asuna (The End Hug) [V1] ,Miku Love [V1] ,PervyMoni ,Blue Heart Icon 
Bubbuz Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Im sorry but reader-chans bully didnt hear her because bully-chans sluttiness was too loud
KawaiiGirlCutie13 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
HetaTail Featured By Owner May 26, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
Holy crap! This is so good, and so so very accurate on the reader personality. Wonderful jog, especially for your first! ❤️ 🇮🇹 
JustADeaviant Featured By Owner May 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
souleater0810 Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
This was so awesome and well written it's awesome !! Can't wait to read your future stories dude =3
The-Harpy-Gryphon Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is the first result for me when I search Spain X Readers now~ X3

Possibly because your plot is based around the current life of those who suffer in the modern day now. They're bullied. They hurt themselves. They get a friend. They don't trust them. They're feel more insecure. They commit suicide. (Don't attack me for saying that last part)

I loved this story (aweosme af X3) but the plot is possibly what made its fame.
ImAHurricane Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Hey look, someone who is aware of what's happening nowadays.
The-Harpy-Gryphon Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
...I'm not sure if this is a rude remark.......but if its not, then sorry ^^;
ImAHurricane Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2016  Student Digital Artist
It's not.  Take it as a compliment.
The-Harpy-Gryphon Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh thank goodness X3 I will :D
PhoenixBird-88 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
(1) This is really great! Its so kawaii☺

(2) I would bitch slap all of the deuche bags doing that shit after a while...😈

(3) I am SO sorry you had to go through that.😢 No one should have to go through that. I have been through bullying and it hasn't stopped but it has gotten better.😊 I hope that you have friends that will stay by your side ..... My best friends/friends I normally hang out with don't stand up for me. Its the witnesses in classrooms that are nice to me that stand up. They're not necessarily my friends but they're nice to have around.😊
Shadow0626 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i love it
Kawwiipand Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2015
Omg T-T tears every where .
Love the story though
Victoria-Walker925 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015  Student Writer
the feels man, the feels
Kitty55Magical Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
crycrycrycrycry and more cry
Aestheticstrawberry Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ya kno i kno thos is a fanfiction and everything and its nice and i think its sweet but if a bully even tries to fuck with me then im gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat your gonna be biting your mother fucking pancreas
Lauradrakkyn Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yas. T^T So wuvly.
FNAFanimeHobbit Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Student Digital Artist
 So... What's this 'country-people' fandom thing? I have no idea. It's still nice, though.
KaidIsProbablyBored Featured By Owner May 21, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
mi dios. You're gonna learn. Go on Hulu and search Hetalia
NeoniZigzagoon Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2015  Student Digital Artist
I shall introduce you to Hetalia, my friend.……
technolightGoddess Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015 feels......they feel so........feely....... *sniff*
Kitty55Magical Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
NOTICE ME SEMPAI (Rose Quartz Icon) that's just feels ma friend
gilbird-beilshmidt Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Student General Artist
xPandaOtakux Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2015
One of the best STORIES ever..
crazzygiraffe04 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*crying* this *sob* is so *siffle* sweet!!!! 
Taiyou-Child Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful omg im crying
Amberpelt1215 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
This really makes me think of this school year it was pretty much the worst year ever at the beginning I was really depressed and cute wanted to only do it once but then one day in science seats got rearranged and I had this kid named Logan sitting in front of me and at the beginning of the year I thought he was obnoxious and stupid but then we started talking in science and then he got his schedule changed and he was suddenly in nearly all of my classes and we talked in all of our classes and I completely forgot about the whole cutting thing and was back to a bubbly ball of energy and then in December my grandpa started to get really sick and my world went downhill I was back to depressed but I didn't cut because I had the beacon of hope that was my friends and Logan then my grandpa died and I didn't go to school for a whole week because I was crying everyday and just couldn't do it but when I went back to school I realised that was what I needed I had all of my friends and Logan back and I was having a hard time smiling and laughing but when I went to my classes with Logan I could laugh and smile actual smiles and I owe him everything he is the nicest guy I know he has really helped me and of course my friends helped in fact one day me and my three closest friends and a guy friend were ice skating and I sat down and started crying and my three closest friends stopped ice skating and came over to me and comforted me while I just sat there crying my eyes out the. We went out on the ice and my night got better I can't even begin to express how thankful I am to them and Logan 
ruinedchildh00d Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2015
I'm glad to hear that you have great friends that are there for you. Keep your chin up darling :')
Arisa012345 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Student Writer
wow that was amazing
anime-wiz17 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015
I was actually listening to the song and you did amazing
Voxyn180 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2015
So Crying Mako rainbow cry Cry forever Miuna Crying Icon beautiful 
xPandaOtakux Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015
Omg so beautiful. 

WyvernHuntress Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015
Awww! I really liked this!!!
Mistpaw89 Featured By Owner May 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Rj223 Featured By Owner May 9, 2015
"You're such a slut!"
"But I still wouldn't fuck you, asshole."
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:iconstilldollwaking: More from StillDollWaking

Featured in Collections

Spain by PureOne1

SpainxReader by minchen0897

Hetalia x Reader Inserts by lexiepotter

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Submitted on
April 17, 2013
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